Autoethnography

In February of 2006, I participated in a volunteer service project at Mt. Vernon First United Methodist Church called “30-Hour Famine.” This event started at noon the first day and ended at 6:00 pm the next day. The point of this project was to not eat for 30 hours and to raise money and goods for the hungry. During our fasting, we collected canned goods, picked up litter around the city, and held a pancake breakfast. Obviously, I felt very hungry after about 10 hours, but I also felt somewhat accomplished. I knew that what I was doing was a sacrifice for me to help others, and that felt really good. Even today, I am very proud of the work I did to help my community and the example I set through my self-discipline. At the time, I knew I was doing a good thing, but I was not doing it for the reason that I would do it now. Back then, I was just having fun with my friends, and making my grandmother happy by going to church. Now, I realize that I helped a lot of people that day, and though I wasn’t recognized, it was still worth the effort. Knowing that I helped people, even if they don’t know it was me, makes me feel appreciated by a higher power.
I have different values now than I did back then. In high school, my main priority was hanging out with my friends and obeying my parents. My grandmother pushed me to do this event, and though I am glad I did it, I probably would not have done it of my own volition. My priorities have shifted greatly since then. Now, the most important things in my life are my fiancé and school. Honestly, I don’t have much time to be with my friends or go to church. Unlike in high school, when I was forced to go to church, I only go to church when I want to, and I no longer feel guilty when my family tries to make me feel bad for not going. I don’t mean to make it sound like I’ve become selfish and don’t do any community service anymore, but I have become more independent. I do still value helping others, and the 30-Hour famine was a great way to do that. I have stayed the same in a few ways, though. My family’s opinion of me is still very important, and I want to make them proud. That is one reason why school is so important to me now. They will just have to be proud of me for going to college, and learn to live with the fact that I am not particularly active in organized religion.
As I mentioned earlier, the Famine was important to me then for a few reasons. For one thing, my friends went, and I tended to follow my friends. More importantly, I knew I was helping people. However then, unlike now, I wanted recognition and honor for all of my good deeds. I wanted to appease my grandmother and convince her that I was a good Christian. Now, the event means much more to me. I realize the sense of goodness that comes from helping others for no reason other than to help them. The people I helped have never even heard my name, but through my example, they know that there are people out there willing to help. Hopefully, it helped to inspire others to do the same. As a person, I have become busier, but also more understanding of what it really means to be a truly good person.